Starting with shoes. Fun, colorful, sexy and divine resort-appropriate flippity floppities.
I was devastated to find that these Dolce Vita Archers don't come in less than a 6. So devastated I wrote them a letter. Occasionally the Jew in me takes over. And by occasionally, I mean whenever there is a deal/sale/steal to be had, especially when I have been bamboozled. In this case, said bamboozling came via zappos.com. I searched high and low for these babies - honestly any of the 4 below would do, but especially the nautical striped ones and the turquoise/zebra puppies. Zappos said they had them. In a 5. All of them. Until you commit to adding them to your bag. I COMMITTED. Then "whoops - not available - please choose another color." Except it happens with every color. I was led astray. I shed a tear.
It happens all the time. I am constantly punished for my midgety petite feet. Just because I can still fit in those plastic bedazzled heels that come in cardboard purple chests (you know, the pre-k prom ones) doesn't mean I don't like pretty big girl shoesies. Here are some more pretty shoes - mint and peachy, just in time for this season from Sam Edelman:
Guess what size they don't have them in. Correct. Only colors available in 5 were black and silver. The boring ones.
There is a rumor that small feet girls get "all the good sales items." Let me dis-spell this once and for all. The crap on those shelves is from last season - 2 years ago. It's been collecting dust since Aunt Mildred thought Crocs were the next big thing. And in her demographic... they were.
I have literally gone into malls - entire malls (and I have witnesses) and asked them to bring all their 5s to me to let me see if anything is satisfactory. 3 pairs of hodge podge later (a cowboy boot - just one, flip flops and some glitter heels), I always leave empty handed - drooling over the Michael Kors, the BCBGs, and -sad to say- the Jessica Simpsons I could add to my collection of unique artifacts if only my poor little feet would grow.
You hookers and your size 8 boats don't know how good you've got it.
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