The Devil's Wife Fights Back

Hubster and I have officially settled into Cinci, hunkered down over the holidays, gained a siamese twin apiece in alcohol and lardable chunkiness and are in the midst of surviving what can only be described as frozen hell.  We also took in some sporting events, made some new friends and celebrated one of my very best childhood friend's recent engagements in NC.  A hell of a start to 2014 if I do say so myself!

Then, yesterday happened.

According to people in mostly Alabama, if the sun is shining while it's raining, the devil is busy beating his wife.  Given the same context and what is happening outside my abode at this very moment, I'd say wifey decided to fight back.  Big time.  Home girl spent her holiday studying up on this:

maybe a little of this:

and has taken matters into her own hands, in a charming display of blistering winds and wind chills approaching -35.  Negative.  Thirty.  Five.

Sidenote: It took me forever to find this gif, I keep thinking these commercials are for insurance...

nice work AT&T.

To put that charming temperature into perspective, it is the same number of degrees different from freezing as the difference between freezing and 99 degrees.  There are warnings flying across my screen about exposed skin getting frostbite after 5 min.  Hubs stuck his nip on the window this morning to test out this theory, and appeared sorely disappointed to still have both after several minutes.

I am boiling water on the stove for warmth because my heat can't keep up.  [That's mostly a lie, it's because I wanted to make some of that bomb Aveda tea.  Hair products and crack-tea, who knew?]

Finnley has on her favorite ugly Christmas sweater and we have purchased her a new set of booties, which is much less entertaining than I had hoped.  But here she is channeling her inner Jessica Rabbit in her first encounter with snow a few weeks ago:

Survival mode kids, survival mode.  Even the local ski slope, Perfect North, is closed due to the cold...  I have yet to see this Perfect North... but considering the nearest hotel to it is at the airport, which I have flown into on several occassions, and I have yet to see anything even resembling a large hill in the area... I am highly suspicious of the slopeness and skiability...  Didn't stop me from getting this fuzzy piece of heaven last week!

North Face Osito

Recap of My Month Long Bender

Conscious decision to enjoy my weeks off during the holiday to unpack, organize, and explore Cincinnati and make some new friends in the process.  All while unplugging from this bad boy.

Without further a do, my December bender, in review:

Went to frigid Bengals games (twice).
Got harassed by large man behind us sick of the selfie-cam in his face, hence the photo of us in the bottom right.

Braved the latest Hobbit.  Unsure what part of the 14 part "trilogy" we are now on.
They are clearly all the same, and all entertaining nonetheless:
Hobbits fulfill little-people fetishes, Orlando bats for the other team, Dumbledore visits from Hogwarts.

Missed the Santacon memo.
Preparation have begun for next year.

Found Finnley a friend.
Meet Bertha, my new pet pelt.

Regretted not purchasing Galaxy Cat Pants from Target.

Reunited with roomie and friends from freshman year at UPenn!

Met up with my cousin and her bf in NYC!

Learned what it's like to fly out of not-Atlanta.

Saw the Nutcracker and washed it down with some amazing ice cream.
Added ice skating to our Cinci bucket list.

Checked out the home rival game of Xavier - Univ of Cincinnati.
They serve beer, so I don't know who won.

Celebrated Christmas our way, with meat, cheese and booze (also the traditional Ray crab bisque!)
The underage kid at the package store assured me Fireball + Rum Chata are what the kids drink these days... 

First bathroom stall selfie!
Added "maturity" to my 2014 Resolution list.

Explored Mt. Adams (patio bar).

Pre and post-gamed our NYE celebrations with these bad boys.

Toasted NYE at a delicious Italian place in OTR.
I do consider myself cooler because I know what OTR means and you don't.

Brought in the New Year with new friends, our next door neighbors!
Vowed never to return to the Cinci casino for fear of catching bankruptcy and airborne herpes.

Killed another animal for my new Eskimo jacket.
What did this fox say?  Nothing his grandmother would be proud to hear.

Got stuck in the airport for 8 hours trying to get to an engagement party I co-hosted for my childhood bestie.
Made some new friends [on my iPad].

Finally arrived to be greeted by this fool, unsure where the people driving the jetway were.
Waited another 30+ min for them to page someone to attach us to the airport.

Visited the gorgeous Raleigh outdoor museum, including Rodin sculpture garden for bff's engagement photos.
Not stealing her thunder, so I won't post any... but wow.  What a location and what a gorgeous couple!  Will link once she posts!

Link ups: Funday Monday, Transatlantic Blonde, Monday Bloom

Holiday Cheer is Finally Here

While our house may still be a debacle of cardboard boxes, insane amounts of unnecessarily clothing (due entirely to my the Hubs' obsession with coats, and none of my own) and two people now working from home without a desk or breath of fresh air... we found the Christmas supplies this afternoon!

Up went the mini tree and around the house I sprinkled the few measly bits of holiday cheer I could muster the energy to put up, knowing they were coming down in (presumably) 3 short weeks.  But seeing as how this is a new city and we know nobody... no promises on these puppies not making it straight through to Spring.  I have literally no where left to store any of them anyway!  

Love these little guys - especially the feathers!

I will so miss Swoozies :(
Best place in Atlanta to get super cute hostess gifts and fun house decor, especially at the holidays.

Fun Mrs. Claus apron from the mom-in-law last year.

No mantle - haven't Macgivered anything crazy yet to substitute, but I'm pontificating as we speak!
I lucked out and got some great family ornaments this year from my parents!

Cute set my brother made me for Christmas a couple of years ago, when we celebrated in NOLA.

At first I thought this was one of those horrible "Keep Calm And...." things when I unpacked it.
After I got over my mortification at having bought something so cliche, I remembered this has sparkles! and stopped caring.

Mr. Claus looking festive, and demonstrating our serious spacial issues in the house right now!
This is our "home office" - mine is located at the dining room table!

Friday 5: Random Sh*t from my iPhone

Last night in the house - we pushed the couches together and made a pillow fort in the living room!
Rule breakers... honey badger don't care.

My first view of Cincinnati - pretty sweet way to drive in!

Off our balcony, looking at the water and the gorgeous bridge!

First adult bevvies as Ohio-ens (Ohians? Ohioooons?) at YardHouse across the street.
Big timin' is how we do.

Getting in the Christmas spirit while doing some unpacking and organizing!

Moving is the Devil

Seriously.  If the Devil lived in a box, that box would be buried somewhere inside my new apartment right now.  

I. Hate. Moving.

My current entry way.  Welcome home Captain Hoarder.

 I have literally moved at least once a year since the age of 16.  16 times in 12 years, actually:  

• Boarding school dorm room 1
• Huntsville, AL for summer
• Boarding school dorm room 2
• Home on Hilton Head for summer
• UPenn dorm
• Emory houses 1 through 3
• UGA apartments 1 and 2
• Winston-Salem apartment for a whopping 6 mo
• Atlanta apartments 1 through 4
• Atlanta house
• Cincinnati

You'd think I'd have this down pat by now.  False.  So false.  This obsessive moving was mostly due to me forgetting that you can, in fact, re-sign a lease rather than finding a new roomie and floor plan every time.  I also tend to be the girl who will just live with anyone.  Someone I met in the leasing office while I was signing?  Done it.  Someone I had heard came from the same school I went to and was also named Rachel so therefore was likely fantastic?  Done it.  Randoms online?  Done it.  I lived with a dude who turned out to be a drug dealer.  I've lived with a girl from India who couldn't drive at the age of 32- so I taught her in a rental car and we hit poles, curbs, animals and guard rails until she passed her test. 

I've lived with girls, guys, friends, coworkers, strangers.  Some turned out great, others not so much.  

Now I appear to have at least landed myself a consistent, mildly normal human being as a roommate.  But this moving thing.  Good lord.  Here we have at least secured a spot in a bad ass location in the middle of this up and coming area called the Banks, right on the river and surrounded by brand new bars and restaurants.  I'm 3 blocks from the Bengals stadium and 2 blocks from the Reds.  However, even this little extravaganza will be up in 20 months, and therefore be the longest I've lived anywhere since I could legally operate a motor vehicle.  

This is a pano off my balcony - Bengals on left, Reds on right.  Pretty sweet!

And yet, every time I move it's the same cluster banana reaction of "oh my god, where did all this shit come from?!?!"  I think I have single handedly ensured the ongoing profitability of Goodwill.  I also have a good bit of Jew left in me and have managed to accumulate a lot of things for free, which tends to lend itself to my hoarding abilities.  

This move was no different.  We downsized a good bit coming here and I thought packing a 10 x 20 storage unit full of grand pianos, golf carts, and brand new china would do the trick.  Turns out 2 blenders, 2 crock pots and 68 t-shirts dating from 1996 on still made the trip.  (Yes, 1996.  My mathlete captain shirt will never see die.)  We can't have a grill here (shed a Green Egg tear), but we made sure to bring lots of tools, just in case someone else does!  And P's very own grill apron, with this emblazoned across the front:

It's amazing the crap that piles up even in a year.  And considering my latest purchasing frenzy has been due to the clearly necessary new collection of winter gear... it doesn't look like we're exactly heading in the right direction...