Friday, February 8, 2013

Valentine's Wishes & Wants and a Timeline of Awkwardly Forced Romance

The season of Cupid and all things dopey and dripping with desires for affection and attention and overstimulated sweet-tooths.  It's funny how this season evolves over your lifetime.  A synopsis:

Mom strings a red paper heart around your neck and sends you on your mini festive little way.
Probably with heart patterned skivvies.

You're forced to make the difficult decision of which trendy super hero/cartoon character wrapped up with a lollipop and a clever, if not inappropriate  quip to your classmates, many of whom you never talk to on the playground.  One (or three in my case) you hope will translate into fairy tale romance under the swingset.  Extra points if you make your own receiving box.

This is just awkward.  No two ways around it.  Boys, girls, adults.
This is just a terrible time in romance land.

Now you're just showing off, a la Mean Girls.  My school on Hilton Head actually did do the heart-shaped lollipop candygram business.  They were fabulous - swirly white and blue/red/purple life-save style goodness.  
I bought in bulk and kept for myself.

Half-priced red shots all night!  Single?  Mingle here and don't go home alone!
And there's a run on the VS lingerie, so now you're stuck wearing an orange nightie.

Real World
Crap.  Presents?  Does a night on the couch with different patterned PJs count as romantic??
At least you can now afford to sub an expensive bottle of wine/champagne for the shots...
(Except last year, where P got confused on my pink champagne request and brought home a raspberry flavored Andre-imposter... That's right, knock-off Andre.  He tries so hard.)

P and I actually have done a good job of staying away from the V-Day hype.  We usually just cook a nice, romantic meal and give some good cheesy presents and enjoy each other's company sans TV.  This year we each have a trick up our sleeve apparently, as Friday is surprise date-night a la Patrick, and I took it upon myself to make some secret plans for Saturday!  

Here are some fabulous things I'd love to have in time for this season of silly pinks and reds:

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