WTFashion

I am by no means any kind of authority on fashion.  I typically hop on trends only after they've made it to year #2.  I once proclaimed I wouldn't be caught DEAD in a pair of pointy-toe heels.  I don't think I own anything else now.  I DO own some sweet over-the-knee hooker heels... that may have been one I jumped on too quickly...

But seriously.  WTF is going on with some of these things this season?  Neon leather pants?  And Ralph Lauren decided he'd sew them up the side in case they weren't ridiculous enough?  I totally had a pair of these, with monster bell bottoms in a fake jean material from my local Belk... in 1997.  

Oh, and they're $1,300.  Naturally.

One of my favorite terms from that Joan Rivers show Fashion Police: FASHOLE.  If you wear any these, you are no longer my friend.  You are wearing your fashole loud and proud and I encourage you to seek out Atlanta's faux-lebrity Baton Bob for your next wardrobe suggestions.

Good for hiding public poots?
At least you know you got your money's worth from the extra fabric. 

I can only imagine Cabotine is French for Kale.  Eau de Broccoli.

Everyone loves a good nip-slip, but paired with your dad's boxers... it just seems sad.
Still trying to figure out what happened to those sunglasses... Bad Cavalli.  Bad.

Parents need not worry about her celibacy.

  

Still not worried, even though now you've got us convinced you forgot your shirt:

What Spring 2013 trends are you too terrified to touch?