Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The "Lifestyle": Are You In It?

I read an article was watching Kathy Lee & Hoda and they were discussing the many ways to indicate to your neighbors/ creepers/ public audience that you are, in fact, of "the lifestyle" variety.  You may be wondering what "the lifestyle" entails.

Swinging, my friends.  And not the playground kind.  

Apparently having a lifestyle, or living any kind of life that may incorporate the word style afterwards opens you up to plethora exciting opportunities - all of which include more than one other person in the bedroom.  Some of the things they were saying made total sense, like having white rocks around your mailbox.  Others I just shook my head at, like an ankle bracelet.  Unless you are Lindsay Lohan (is that still a relevant reference?  I'm so old.) or escaping from someplace, lifestyle bandwagon or not, that ain't a good idea kiddies.

Which brings me to my point.  Apparently that article late-morning-weekday-PJ-fest so ingrained this idea in my head that I found myself snickering at these poor saps in my neighborhood who likely just wanted to celebrate UGA with a silly couple of plastic flamingos.  Suckerssss that is totally one of the signs!  

But maybe they knew that... maybe they are living it up in a freedom kinda lifestyle!  

Maybe they're gypsies too!  Like The Riches!
I'm the only one I know who watched half this season...  I thought it was good!
Oh the crazy things I thought about after that on my little dog walk.  I mean, who really knows their neighbors??  What if I'm the only bland, blase, lifestyle-less person on my block?  Here I am, minding my own business with my fancy terrier and there is a whole street of crazy happening all around me!  

Regardless, take a look at these and then check out your ankle and your mailbox - apparently the next time the UPS man rings your bell he may be ... so many package jokes that I can't bring myself to write.  Sorry Grandma.

1.  Put a pineapple upside down in your shopping cart
2.  Wear an anklet on your right ankle, or a thumb ring or a toe ring
3.  Switch your wedding ring to the right hand
4.  Put white stones in your landscaping in your front lawn
5.  Get a yin-yang tattoo

Turns out I may have made up the flamingo sign.  Either that or I've been paying way too much attention to my neighbors lawns, hoping for a swinger I can judge.

I found this gem while hunting down the "lifestyle signs"

Tymber... please enlighten us regarding your swinging friends!  
And please tell me rasta-unicorn hairstyles are one of them.

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